When I was writing this piece I was intrigued by how loving relationships turn violent? And while my work is a quest in answering this complicated question, what I do believe is that people are NOT "born" abusers.
My truth is...violence emerges...
It is a choice. In any relationship...intimate are not...we have two choices when the inevitable presence of change appears...cause it always does and always will. Nothing is constant. Therefore we can: (1) Accept change and choose to allow it to create a stronger fusion or (2) Reject change and choose to allow it to erupt.
"Rejection leads to suppression and suppression leads to eruptions"
-Robbie
Share below...I am eager to here your truth....your voice.
Is violence a choice?
Violent Behavior is an Abuser's CHOICE
Reasons we know an abuser's behaviors are NOT about anger and rage:
* He does not batter other individuals - the boss who does not give him time off or the gas station attendant that spills gas down the side of his car. He waits until there are no witnesses and abuses the person he says he loves.
* If you ask an abused woman, "can he stop when the phone rings or the police come to the door?" She will say "yes". Most often when the police show up, he is looking calm, cool and collected and she is the one who may look hysterical. If he were truly "out of control" he would not be able to stop himself when it is to his advantage to do so.
* The abuser very often escalates from pushing and shoving to hitting in places where the bruises and marks will not show. If he were "out of control" or "in a rage" he would not be able to direct or limit where his kicks or punches land.
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